Today on the radio I was offering my opinion on a boy in a dress and the presenter asked me a question. He asked me this question after I revealed my penchant for wearing skirts and tights and dresses. His question, and btw he was very careful to say I didn’t have to answer it, because I think he knew the true nature of his question. His question was, in my opinion, illustrative of a large part of the problem with today’s gender debate. His question was a very personal one and again in my opinion, one that brings little to the debate on boys and men in skirts and dresses. His question was this, ‘Are you gay?’ His question reveals something to me. It’s subtle and i hope I can capture that subtlety in the next few lines. Our culture thinks that if a boy wants to wear a dress he must be transgendered or gay, there must be something ‘wrong’ with him because boys don’t wear dresses. Flawed logic because boys do wear dresses. I did 40 years ago and they still are today. It’s hetero-normative. That is It Sets heterosexuality as the ´norm’ and puts other behaviours as abnormal hence the continual need to put cross dressers in the box marked gay. There’s a, thankfully shrinking, consensus, in our world that men, ‘real’ straight men, solid hard working, womanising men (traditional views on men) are the normal healthy expressions of manhood and to deviate from that is unhealthy. You like wearing skirts are you gay? It’s the equivalent of asking a women if she’s a lesbian because she’s wearing trousers! Ridiculous eh? Imagine it for a moment. Next time you see a woman in trousers ask her if she’s a lesbian and see what response you get. Not long ago women were thought of as lesbian for wearing masculine clothes but guess what society got used to it, got over it and moved on. It’s time to do the same for men.
I like skirts. I like tights. I like silky, sexy, beautiful clothes in sensual colours to touch my body. I like women. I like men too but not in the same way. I’m not transgendered or body dismorphic or confused (anymore) I am a man in a skirt.